5th grade Gratitude Journaling
Background
Similar to the sectionals I lead in sixth grade, I teach one particular group of fifth grade violists. They are three lovely and personable eleven year olds whom I get to teach three times a week. These three all have similar backgrounds and get along extremely well and they make learning flow easily. They thrive with challenges and cheer for each other and I have immensely enjoyed working with them. However, two of these students are young girls who are challenged with often being overcome by strong emotions. Because it is such a small closely knit group, when one or both of the girls enters class in tears, as happens somewhat regularly, learning is placed on a quick hold until I can help them get to a more neutral emotional state.
Both of the girls readily share with us that they have anxiety. (Personally, thirty years ago I didn’t know what anxiety was, even though I definitely had it). Sometimes we have a quick discussion about what’s bothering them, and sometimes it’s a private talk. In these sectionals I’ve found myself grateful for sharing a sense of trust with these kids. I’ve also noticed that when we talk about what’s going on, the girls are usually able to feel reassured that what they’re feeling is normal and not as overwhelming as they initially felt. In general we are able to start making music and practice together and perhaps even feel a sense of pride.
In my own personal journey of soothing my anxiety, I came across the concept of gratitude journaling, in my late thirties. It’s the simplest concept and it creates a ripple effect of positivity. While not strictly a form of meditation, I’ve found that one of the ways I’ve developed a stronger sense of resiliency is through sitting down every day for a few moments and listing everything I’m grateful for that day. At first, to me it was difficult to fake happiness, but on the days where I was struggling to find gratitudes I would flip back through the journal and remember the joyful days. Some days I am able to go into great detail about small things and some days I’m not. Yet other days I have very large, seemingly important breakthrough thoughts that I enjoy looking back on.
Goals
A common phrase these days, as we collectively explore self discovery, is ANTs. ANTs stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts, and as a society we are almost groomed to use these subconscious thoughts to make ourselves more productive. As a classically trained violinist I relied on self-effacing thoughts most of my training and career until recently. Self comparison, expectations, hard work, culture, society - all of these aspects have played a role in training myself to listen to my automatic negative thoughts. However, over time and with practice catching myself in these types of thoughts, I’ve been able to drastically improve the quality of my self esteem. I’m talking about breaking down patterns of years of thinking. This type of work takes consistency and perseverance. Practice.
I decided to teach my fifth grade violists the benefits of having a gratitude journal. With the hope that they reap the benefits over time, I asked them if they wanted to visit me during their recess every Thursday.
Method
I bought two small decorative journals and pens for the girls and for twenty minutes we wrote down and talked about very personal moments and thoughts of the day. I told them that some days it feels fake to try and find happy things, but that on those days I try to write a few basic things and I read my past pages.
Outcome
The girls continue to spend Thursday recesses with me and I am very grateful for our time together. One non-Thursday one of the girls told me that she couldn’t think of anything happy and then in the midst of telling me this she remembered something. That was a big moment because it was in the hallway between classes. I hope that with time the girls will use their gratitude journals voluntarily and regularly access their strength and positivity. Gratitude journaling not only strengthens positivity “muscles”, it also builds self compassion, and I hope that these are traits my viola students carry into the rest of their lives.